


came to term(s)

by boxofnothing



Series: life goes on; grieving never ceases [2]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Future Fic, Incompetent Cervix, Mentions of miscarriage, angsty but with lighter undertones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 20:58:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17050463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxofnothing/pseuds/boxofnothing
Summary: Maya Santiago-Peralta is fine. Perfectly fine. She's not hurt anymore. Yes, she's in the hospital but she's fine. Her daughter is fine and everything is fine. Ok, maybe she said fine four too many times, but she is FINE.or Maya Santiago-Peralta has teensy weensy pregnancy scare but she's fine.





	came to term(s)

**Author's Note:**

> So first up this is a companion fic to coming to term(s) although you can read this on it's own and totally understand. But I strongly recommend the first of the series.
> 
> Anyway, I did love coming to term(s) and it is by far one of my favorite fics I've written and I got a lot of great response to it even though it is seriously angsty and sad. But I got a few comments that asked to write a follow up and to be honest I didn't thin I was because I didn't know what to write and I refused to write the actual feelings of someone having a miscarriage because I don't think I could fully grasp that as I have not been pregnant and I have not had a miscarriage. I also didn't want to do adoption because you can get pregnant after miscarrying and think it was important for that to happen.
> 
> So I went this angle. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and read coming to term(s)

> _everything is fine. everything is fine_  
> 

Maya Santiago-Peralta lay in the hospital bed, staring out the window.  She wasn’t really focusing on anything, just staring out into space. She was more focused on the human growing inside of her and how she might’ve lost her.

She remembers waking up in the middle of the night from the searing pain. She had clenched Liam’s shirt and pulled him from his sleep, as she tried to keep in her screams and gasps.

He pulled the blanket away and found the blood. He bolted out of bed and dialed 911 before she could even start to think about what was happening.

Everything else happened in a blur of lights and yelling and when she finally came to she was laying in this bed, Liam slouched back asleep in a chair.

The doctor came in about 15 minutes later and told her she was extremely lucky. They had discovered she had an incompetent cervix and that it had given out in the night. She had lost a lot of blood but they were able to infuse quickly enough that she and the baby would be ok. She told her that she would have to remain on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy and that her cervix had been stitched closed to keep it closed.

It was all just so much.

She had almost lost their child and she didn’t really know how to feel. She was grateful that their child was still alive, but she had almost killed her. Their daughter had almost died because of her.

She ran a hand over her bulging abdomen again, caressing it gently.

Liam had left to go find her parents a few minutes ago, since they had come to visit and make sure everything was ok. He said he’d bring food since she was starving and hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday.

She heard voices approach, “Maya!”

She turned towards the door, “Mom! Dad!”

“Oh thank goodness you’re ok. When Liam called and said you were in the hospital, we were so scared.” Her mom says, as her dad rushes to her side and gives her a weird half armed hug. Maya was half expecting her mom to rush forward but she stands still by the door her hands clutching her purse slung over her shoulder.

“It’s ok Dad, everything is ok.” Maya reassures her dad as he wraps his arms around her, but she keeps her eyes locked on her mom.

“My, everything is not ok. You are in the hospital. You’re not ok if you are in the hospital.” Her mom says, stepping forward towards the hospital bed.

“Mom, I’m fine.” She tries reassure but she isn’t quite sure if she really is.

Her dad pulls away from her and looks at her mom. She mutters something softly to her dad and Maya hears him ask softly,“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” her mom answers and now she’s confused. What the hell are they talking about?

Suddenly, he turns and looks right at Liam, “Hey man, let’s go get something to eat.” Liam looks just as confused as her, but he goes with it and let’s her dad lead him out of the room.

Her mom pulls one of the chairs in the corner up next to the bed and looks right at her, “You know it’s ok to not be fine. You almost lost your child. You are allowed to not be ok.”

Maya can feel tears well up in her eyes, but she manages to keep them in. Why is her mom saying this to her? She’s fine. Perfectly fine. Her daughter is alive and well and that’s all that matters.

“You almost lost a child. Even though you are physically ok right now, even though I beg to differ,  it had to have taken a toll.”

“Mom, I told you I’m fine. My daughter is still alive and she’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is going to be fine.” Maya tries to make her mom understand that she is perfectly  _ fine _ . Ok, maybe she said fine three too many times.

“Honey, I’m gonna tell you something. I know you don’t know this but I need you to know. You need to know that it’s ok to feel scared.” What the hell is she talking about? My Mom had always been pretty open and straightforward about everything. She never really hid anything and now she’s sitting here saying she’s going to tell me something I never knew about her. Maya knows everything. She knows all about insanely awkward breakup double date her parents went on separately. She knows about the ‘one night stand’ with the guy in the band. She knows about way too much of her parents sex life thanks to Uncle Charles.

Maya knows way too much about her parents, what could she no-

“I miscarried 3 times before you were born.”

“What?” It throws her. How had she not know this?

“I lost three babies before you were born.” Her mom states point blank. She looks like she is trying to keep her composure but she isn’t doing too well. 

This can’t be true though. Her mom told her everything. They were close. How could she not tell her about this? Especially when she told her she was pregnant.

“No, that’s not true.” She refuses to believe this.

“Honey, it’s true. One was lost in the first trimester because of trauma because I didn’t know I was even pregnant and the other two were due to placental abruptions.”

Those are specific details. Someone doesn’t just come up with that off the top of their head. People don’t know what a placental abruption is unless they do the research or it happens to them. Maya doesn’t know what to say and just keeps staring at her mom until she continues explaining.

“My first was a late term miscarriage. We had the nursery all set up and we had the names narrowed down to 3. We were so excited. I didn’t think anything could happen to us because we were at 8 months. I thought we were fine and then it happened. I had lost a lot of blood and we ended up losing the child.”

She’s stunned. She can’t imagine losing her daughter, even now at 6 months. 8 months is so close and they lost their first child when they were so close to knowing them. But she doesn’t know why her mom is telling her this. She didn’t lose her daughter. Her daughter is still alive and kicking her bladder.

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I know the fear. By the time I was pregnant with you, we didn’t know if we even wanted to keep the pregnancy. Losing a child before you can even meet them is devastating. We didn’t know if we wanted to go through it again just to be let down for a fourth time. But we decided to try one more time and we got you. But at about 6 months we had a scare just like your’s and I was so scared. Part of me didn’t even want to hope.”

She looked away from her mom. She started staring out the window and seeing the rather dull skyline. After a moment she felt her mom grasp her hand and squeeze ever so slightly. Tears started to well in her eyes and she lifts her other hand to wipe them away.

She hears her mom take a deep ragged breath and then she starts again, “You’re allowed to not be alright. It’s normal.”

“I want to be fine. Everything is fine right now.”

“Maya, it’s not fine right now. You’re in the hospital and it’s ok to be afraid. That fear is what makes you a mother. Trust me if you aren’t scared out of your mind or terrified or overjoyed because your kid did something so stupidly amazing you aren’t a mom.” Weirdly enough it was reassuring. She was a mom even though her daughter hadn’t popped out of the oven yet.

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime, and if you need to talk I’m always here.”

“I know.” She looks at her mom lovingly.

“Are you sure? Because we found out you were in the hospital from Liam and I know we weren’t his first call and I am kind of insulted.”

“Mom, I am sorry you were his  _ second  _ call after his parents!”

  
  



End file.
